CRIS GLADLY

While discussing how ego is a barrier to Social & Emotional Intelligence, I was asked if ego shows up in men and women differently ...

I have a series of questions I regularly ask myself to keep challenging situations in perspective. I call them my "Bullshit Detector Questions" because they never fail to cut thru the negative, dramatic BS my brain projects when my internal threat response gets activated. One of those BS Detector Questions is: How is this the BEST possible thing to happen right now? Of course, when disruption, uncertainty, or conflict flare up, it's really hard to find anything good in it. A

I saw a spot on meme recently that said: Indeed! The hard truth is that when confronted with our own missteps, mistakes, or straight up wrong doing, most people instinctively deflect outward (deny, deflect, pass blame, lash out). The 'other person' (colleague, boss, etc.) becomes the immediate villain in our story because it's uncomfortable to take ownership for our own errors in judgement or action. And, in turn, people do the exact same to us. As they say: "People will forg

This video was making the rounds recently and it's worth watching ... ... but I'd like to add extra perspective to it. In the video, we see how easy it is for communication to break down. A 'message' gets quickly warped as it makes the rounds. That's a valuable takeaway. I'd also point out: Every single person who shared the message in this video did so IN GOOD FAITH. They each tried to convey an accurate version of what they understood the message to be. Why does this matt

I know "empathy" is a trendy topic in people development, but I've made it no secret that I do NOT think empathy or compassion are the place to start to improve connection and communication. Why? Because I'm a big believer in being HONEST about our emotions, and the truth is ... there will always be people we like and people we dislike at work. People we connect with, and people we just DON'T. Compassion and empathy are not emotions we can force. We have to honestly 'care' on

It's SO easy to get caught up in the emotional energy in a room. Tensions are high, so we feel tense. People are complaining, so we start complaining. Part of Social Intelligence is developing the ability to read the room and then positively influence the energy of those around you ... the team, the board, the audience, the company. When tensions are high, you say the right thing to defuse it and shift people out of defensiveness and back to collaboration. When people start c

Don't let temporary frustration or irritation sabotage your communication. (I know, I know, easier said than done! ... I feel you.) But those snarky comments, impatient tones, exasperated eye rolls that all last just a moment ... they fracture trust for a long time. More damage is done in companies and on teams from annoyance than from actual malice or anger. As soon as people sense our agitation is directed at them, their defenses go up (which means access to logic, reason,

I love the Irish proverb: "A good laugh and a long sleep are two of the best cures for anything." It applies well to all situations, personal and professional. In fact, one of THE fastest and most effective ways to defuse those emotionally contentious conversations that crop up at work is to... LAUGH! (Note: laugh with each other, not at each other.) When conflict starts, our instinct is either to: (a) avoid it, which solves nothing -OR- (b) dive straight in and hash

Situations at work can get really AWKWARD sometimes, yes? After a difficult conversation ends -- even when it ends well -- it's natural to want to get the heck out of there ASAP ... away from the tension, uncomfortableness, and intense effort. Totally understandable. The only problem is -- the bridge you just started to build can quickly fall apart if you don't follow up (soon and appropriately) with the other person/people involved. Yes, definitely allow time for everyone to

Let's talk about ANGER in the workplace for a minute, shall we? A few thoughts to share: First -- people often think Emotional Intelligence is the ability to subdue all "negative" emotions in exchange for "better" ones. I say, NOPE! Anger absolutely has its place. It is, at times, a 100% honest, entirely valid emotion and should be expressed ... appropriately. Unfortunately, most people confuse 'temper tantrums' with justified anger. These are not the same thing. Someone pitc